*** If you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, just adapt this to
the holiday you will be celebrating. If you like it, share this
knowledge with others.
Thanksgiving is coming and many have large households to
prepare, for incoming guests, overnight guests, and drop-in
guests.
But, you know what? It doesn't matter if you have three people
coming or thirty people coming, five dishes to make or twenty
dishes to make, a three room house to clean or a twenty room
house to clean -- there is always someone else who has *more*
people coming, *more* dishes to make, and *more* rooms to
clean. And they can do it with one hand tied behind their back.
Yes, that's a slight exaggeration, maybe, but the premise is the
same. You wonder how they can do it!
Maybe they can do it because, to them, it isn't a chore. You
know, it is not a chore if *you* don't make it a chore. Some
people just love cleaning and preparing. If you start thinking
what a pleasure it is to open your house, and what a pleasure
it is to have family visit, you can proceed -- guess what -- with
pleasure.
But what if you have worries?
Just because some people can do it easily and seemingly
effortlessly, it doesn't mean YOU don't have the fears, worries,
and heartache that wanting to please family and friends brings.
Just think. Sometimes, you may feel that there is so much to
worry about, so much to tend to, just to make sure everyone
is happy.
And, guess what? The people who have the most fears, worries,
and heartache are usually the same ones that are laid up a week
before the holiday because they've overdone already. Not so
much with activity as with the worry. Suddenly, they have
developed a cold or the flu or have thrown their back out. And,
if they thought about it, they'd realize that they *knew* they
would.
They knew they would develop a cold or the flu or throw their
back out, because they knew they would never be able to make
it a joyous occasion for everyone, so why try. They hate it that
they've done this, but it happens every year at this time, and they
just don't know why it happens to them.
They want it to be a happy time, but they know that Uncle Joe
is going to do the same thing with the whoopee cushion and
embarrass everyone. They know that Aunt Jane is going to sit
there and berate Uncle Joe the whole time. They know Barry,
the black sheep of the family is going to show up and everyone
would know he was the one they caught in the drug bust last
week, and Uncle Bart will take it upon himself to tell the boy
what a jackass he is, and the whole family will join in, and you
could go on and on and on and on. There goes the holiday.
Right?
Wrong. Let it happen.
That's right. I said, let it happen.
If it's going to happen, let it happen. Then do something about
it. Find a firm voice that you never knew you had before, and
say, *Everyone who wants to have some fun, come with me.*
Keep the bravest smile you can find and start guiding the little
ones -- and if there's only one little one that will come with you,
so be it -- into another room, and hope some of the older ones
will follow. If not, that's OK, too. You just want to give
everyone the option of a happy holiday.
Take whoever comes and have your own little happy time,
making memories. Show that person the love in your heart,
and enjoy yourself.
Now, if someone comes along later, and stragglers are
definitely welcome, make sure it's well stated that whoever
does will know the rules ahead of time. There will be no
frowns -- that's all the rules. Take the food with you, if you
want, and make a picnic. Just because you made a beautiful
table, that doesn't mean you can't eat on the floor. Just
because you cleaned for days, that doesn't mean you can't
make a mess when you're having fun.
Make sure and smile if Uncle Joe comes in, because you
know that Uncle Joe will know the rules, and he's going to
give it his best shot. Why? Because you know deep down
that he loves you. If he or someone else frowns, don't give
them the boot. Give them a smile until they return it -- and
a little while longer. Pretty soon people will come in smiling,
and who knows? Maybe you'll stop the circle that has made
the holiday miserable for you and your family. Make your
own new tradition. Happy Holidays!
Remember, if you take the time and effort to change your
view of reality, your brain will put in the time and effort to
make your reality become your view.
Thanks for reading,
Jan
